Am I Pretty, Daddy?

   Our three-year-old, Kendra, is what I would call a "girly-girl".  She wants to wear dresses everyday.  She asks to wear my make-up.  If her nail polish wears off, she is quick to let me know - regardless of where we are.  And she can not wrap her mind around the fact that my friend Becky will not change her wedding colors so that Kendra's Flower Girl dress can be pink.
    I do not know how Kendra got this way.  From infancy she favored my father-in-law, and they would watch those hunting shows on TV together.  Her second birthday had a deer-hunting theme (I kid you not).  Her love-language is "quality time", and she likes spending time fishing or trudging through the woods with her daddy.  So, we absolutely do not get the "pink princess" thing.
    Kendra is in the habit right now of twirling around in whichever dress she has on and saying, "Am I pretty, Mommy (or Daddy)?" 
    And I got into the habit of saying, "You are beautiful, Sweetheart!"
     After all, I am out to get the "Mother of the Year" Award, and doesn't that sound like the answer of a good candidate?
    One day I realized that my husband was giving her an entirely different answer, and it went something like this: "You shouldn't ask people to compliment you, Kendra."
     I realized that he was probably giving the better response.  After all, who wants a child who demands that others affirm her all the time, right?  We want to raise our girls to be secure women.  The whole daily conversation was making me evaluate what we want to instill in our girls about beauty though.  I kept coming back to my in-laws repeating, "Pretty is as pretty does."
    When Kendra selfishly cries to get her own way, it is not pretty.  When she hits her sister, or steals her toy, it is not pretty.  When she lies to me about how the bathroom sink got clogged, it is not pretty.  And I want my baby girl to be pretty!
    Then I started to realize that my girls need a pretty mommy to lead the way.  I am blessed with a husband who, no matter how fat and tired I feel, still tells me that I'm attractive.  But I don't mean outward beauty.  I'm talking about standing before my Heavenly Father, and saying (wanting an honest answer), "Am I pretty, Daddy?"
    I am thinking that the answer would have nothing to do with my external beauty.  I Samuel 16:7b says, "for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (emphasis mine).   
    What does my heart reveal?  The Apostle Peter writes to wives, "Your adornment must not be merely external - braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;  but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God" (I Peter 3:3-4).
    A "gentle and quiet spirit" is something that I definitely need to work on.  If that is what is beautiful to my Father, then that is what I want to possess.  So often I feel like I am "harsh and loud" instead of "gentle and quiet". 
    "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me," (Psalm 139:23-24a).  Or in other words, "Am I pretty, Daddy?"
     "You were not pretty when you gossiped today about that woman down the street." "You were not pretty when you lost your temper with your children."  "You were not pretty when you selfishly put yourself before your husband."
    The rest of Psalm 139:24 reads, "And lead me in the everlasting way."
     What is the "everlasting way"?  It is God's way.  God leads us along the way of life to please Him.  We learn to please Him by learning, and living by His Word, spending time with Him in prayer, and in fellowship with other believers.  As we walk in God's way, we live a life that pleases the Lord; a life that is truly pretty.
    As I twirl before my Father, how I long that He find me pretty.

Scripture used from NAS Bible